A Love Letter to the Women in My Life

IWD - Daisy Chain Flower Crown

Listen to me read the post above. ⬆️

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Notes from a Kindred Spirit is a bi-weekly newsletter about embracing curiosity, exploring hobbies, living with chronic illness, and finding contentment in the everyday.

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Hi friends,

Happy International Women’s Day! 🎉

Today’s post is a response to the invitation by

Claire Venus

,

Laura Oldfield

, and a few other lovely writers to share something in honour of International Women’s Day (IWD).

IWD is a great reminder for us to reflect on the women in our lives, what we’ve learned from them, and the qualities we admire and hope to emulate.

This year, I am thinking about four women in my life. As I reflect on what I’ve learned from each of them, I realize that there are hobbies I enjoy that help me feel closer to them. I didn’t intentionally take up these hobbies for that reason, but I understand now that part of why I enjoy them so much is that they give me a sense of closeness to the women I associate with them.

Grandma Carole - “Nana”

Grandma Carole (my mom’s mother) passed away when I was four years old. Sadly, I have very few memories of her, but I have been told that I’m a lot like her. I have a very distinct memory of driving to my bridal shower with my mom in the seat beside me saying she never could have imagined how much I would turn out to be like Grandma Carole.

Grandma Carole was a creative soul who enjoyed singing, playing the piano, and writing all kinds of things. She was an active member of her community and wrote music and plays for church activities and fundraisers.

Photo of me writing by Adrienne Forgeron

As an adult, I’ve been lucky enough to be able to read some of Grandma Carole’s writing. A few years ago, I was looking through the items in her piano bench and came across a scrap piece of paper with a poem she had begun writing after I was born. As far as I know, she never finished the poem, but I’m so grateful I found that piece of paper because it gives me another link to her.

seanchaidh

Scottish Gaelic

noun

1. Storyteller

2. Historian

3. Keeper of lore and tradition

Often, when I’m sitting down to write or thinking about a writing project, Grandma Carole comes to mind. It feels like my writing is rooted in my ancestry, and that a little bit of her voice can come through me. I’m not sure how to explain it, but I have this inner knowing that she is proud of me and the ways I have used, and continue to use, my voice.

Great Grandma Evie

Great Grandma Evie was an opinionated, stubborn, hard-working, and caring woman. One of my favourite stories about her is from the day I was born. As the story goes, my parents told her they had decided to name me Cassandra, and her prompt response was, “Well, I don’t care for that very much!”

We were so lucky to have a great-grandparent for as long as we did. She loved playing with all of her great-grandchildren! I have fond memories of her playing Barbies on the floor with me in her 80s and showing me how to colour in one direction in my colouring book to get the best effect. We would often go into town to pick her up for tea; but we absolutely could not be there before the latest episode of her favourite soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, had ended. Heaven forbid!

Thanks to Great Grandma, one of my favourite pastimes is puzzling. I especially remember doing them with her around the holidays or when I stayed with my grandparents in the summertime. She loved visiting over a cup of tea and enjoying a sweet treat (she knew how to enjoy the good things in life!) with her puzzle in progress on the table. To this day, I still make tea when I’m working on a puzzle!

Working on a Jane Austen puzzle this winter

Through tea and puzzles, she taught me patience, problem-solving, and the importance of making time to sit down and connect with those you care about. She also taught me that a woman should have her own opinions and not be afraid to voice them! 😉

Grandma Elda

Grandma Elda has a green thumb. If you say this she will protest, but don’t believe her. Visiting her flower garden was a summer tradition when she and Grandpa lived on the farm. She would tour us along the beds and through the rows, telling me the names of all the flowers I asked about, accompanied by various thoughts.

The bleeding heart didn’t look like it was going to bloom this year, but it had. The ants in the peonies weren’t nearly as bad as last year. The lilies just didn’t get enough sun over here, so we’ll move them for next year.

I admired the breadth of her knowledge and how tuned in she was to the nature surrounding her as one season cycled into the next.

As you might imagine, it was the same inside the house. A huge Boston fern hanging in the corner of the living room. An orchid on the side table next to the couch so it wouldn’t be damaged by the sun. An African violet waiting to be re-potted.

I have taken after her and become somewhat of a house plant collector, with a collection that multiplied during the isolating days of early Covid. There’s a peaceful slowness in taking care of my houseplants. Watering them, checking for pests, checking the roots to see if they need a bigger pot. I enjoy following in my grandmother’s footsteps by getting to know the seasonal cycles of my plants and what signs of damage to look out for. In the early days of plant parenthood, she received many a call from me asking about a pest I found in my peace lily or wondering if I’d overwatered my first cactus (the answer was yes).

My peace lily in our apartment in 2017

Now that I’m a first-time homeowner, I hope to create a similar atmosphere around my home that she did in her flower garden on the farm. I want it to be full of colour and vibrancy that welcomes people in! I have learned so much from watching Grandma Elda and asking her questions over the years. I hope I can take what I’ve learned from her and carry it forward to create the yard of my dreams in the years to come.

Mom

Baking is a big deal on my mom’s side of the family. In addition to Grandma Carole’s many talents, she was also an excellent baker, and my mom learned from her (and other women in the family) and has become an exceptional one. Mom would say that’s not true, but ask anyone who has tried something that she’s made, and they’ll agree with me.

My family was spoiled growing up because mom made fresh bread for us, and there was always something yummy to snack on, like cookies or brownies. I always looked forward to that afternoon snack after school. And don’t even get me started on her Christmas baking! The most wonderful time of the year indeed!

Growing up, I have fond memories of sitting on a barstool in the kitchen watching Mom bake. It just seemed like it came so naturally to her - like muscle memory. She had all these tricks for little things, like how to level a cup of flour or make sure the cake was baked before she took it out of the oven. As a kid, I always wondered how she knew how to do all that! We didn’t have the Great British Bake-Off back then, but I had it right in my family’s kitchen!

I was more of an observer than a helper. Sometimes I’d pitch in by rolling the molasses cookies in sugar or digging ingredients out of the pantry for her. But, once I moved to the city to attend university, I missed her baking A LOT. So I asked her to send me my favourite recipes that would be easy for me to make in my little dorm kitchen - pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and chocolate chip cookies made with vanilla pudding powder.

There have been many worried phone calls to Mom over the years when I run into a baking dilemma, and I’m sure there are still many more to come because I now bake regularly. I almost always have some baking in the house to snack on. I love to bake when we have people coming over - I recently made a Funfetti bundt birthday cake for Mom when my parents visited in January. And, as I mentioned in this post, it’s not Christmas for me without homemade chocolate fudge and lemon squares!

Baked treats I made for an Autumnal Equinox tea for 2 in Sept.2022

Whenever I bake, it makes me feel closer to Mom. I’m reminded of the love and care she puts into mixing ingredients to create something delicious for the people she cares about. Mom has shown me how to express love through food - and if you know anything about the picky eating issues I had as a kid, you know this is a big deal. She has taught me not to be afraid of trying new recipes and to be patient with myself while learning. And she’s shown me that if I keep working at something, I’ll improve over time (even if I cry when my molasses cookies are ruined because I forgot to add the flour).

I didn’t intentionally take up any of these hobbies to feel closer to the incredible women in my life. But as I reflect on them, I can see that they are so fulfilling to me BECAUSE they tie me to the women in my family. They remind me of the many reasons why I admire, respect, and love each of these women. These hobbies will always be a part of me because they help foster these precious connections to my roots.

I’d love to hear from you!

What about you? Are there any activities that help you feel closer to a woman in your life? Any hobbies that make you feel connected to your aunt or grandmother or sister? Comment below or reply to this email and let me know. 😊